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 Post subject: A Dwarven Short
PostPosted: Jul 18th, '07, 19:39 
A Necromancer from the Northern Wastelands comes to the land of the Dwarves to take rule of the Claw Mountain and its riches. He brings 10,000 skeletal minions with him. As he reaches the battlefield, suddenly on the crest of a hill there appears a solitary figure, a little short ginger-haired guy wearing a horned helm and a beard that reached his knees.

"Necromancer of the Wastes?" yells the stout Dwarf on the hill. "Come up here, ya Bone Kiss'n bastards, and I'll give ye a beating!"

The Necromancer turns to his Pupptet and says, "Take 20 here and deal with that Dwarven upstart!"

The Puppet sends 20 men over the hill to kill the Dwarf. Five minutes later, at the crest of the hill, the Dwarf appears again.

"Ye Grave Robb'n bastards!" he yells. "Come on the rest of ye! Come on, I'll have ye!"

The Necromancer is getting somewhat annoyed. He turns to his Foul in command. "Take a 100 and kill that little guttersnipe!" The Foul sends 100 over the hill to do the job. Ten minutes later, the Dwarf appears at the top of the hill again his shirt a bit torn.

"Ye Undead SCUM!" he yells. "I'm just warming up! Come and get me!" The Necromancer loses patience. "Sentient, take 400 and personally WIPE HIM OFF THE FACE OF KYMLUN!" he yells. The Sentient gulps, but leads 400 Skeletal minions up and over the crest of the hill.

Fifteen minutes later, the Dwarf is back. His clothing is all torn, his face is covered in blood, snot and Irn-Bru, and he yells, "Is that the best ye can do? You're bloody WIMMIN! Come on, come and have a go ya bunch of lasses!" The Emperor turns to his second in command. "Take a 1000 over that hill and don't come back till you've killed him!" he commands.

The second in command gathers the men and they ride off over the hill to their fate. Five minutes later, one of the Necromancers Minions appear back at the top of the hill. He's covered in blood and his clothes are all torn.

"Master!" he yells. "It's a trap! There's TWO of them!"

[Would like this to be told by Basil if possibly]

*Credit to clanlord


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