Taty,
It is always unfortunate when a player decides that the server is not for them, however, if that happens, it is usually for the better for both that player and the server.
Kymlun is, above all, a community. For a lot of us this has been where we made life-long friendships and where we shared our real life cheer and tear at times. For others this has been a well of endless frustration, they have left us. That is to say you wouldn't be the first one to leave us for not feeling part of it, and rest assured, you are always welcome to return if you feel that you can find yourself some effort to get to know something new.
Our customs include OOC privacy where you are only found OOC if necessary, but the party does make it easier for people to do so. The custom is very simple: If you are in a public zone such as Myst Forest, chances are a character may "accidentally" stumble upon you, while private zones such as rooms, nooks and crannies are off limits without predefined consent.
Also, please note the above: it is a community, it is a story we are all part of, and by no means should you feel pressed, but rather encouraged to take part. If you feel that you cannot socialize OOC perhaps you should find yourself a less ooc-intensive server, where people are less likely to welcome you their own way and you are less likely to take offence - or turn off Party Chat entirely.
Please do not worry yourself too much about what other people say or do. If you do, you just further miscommunicate the situation. Taking offence immediately without clarifying a situation usually leads to more conflict and in the end conflict means wasted energy.
Personally I believe that when there is an issue, both ends are to blame. Both said player for not leaving it to a DM to assess the situation (Or DM for acting as DM from the player client - which I have to learn myself, guilty as charged.) and yourself for taking it so far.
On the bright side thank you for your contribution and opinion on how to greet new players, even though our way has worked for eight years so far, perhaps there is still room for improvement, like there should be.
Remember that in the end this is just a game.