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PostPosted: Apr 16th, '10, 12:36 
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Joined: Apr 29th, '09, 04:24
Posts: 13
Location: Greensburg, Pa, USA
((Please bear with me. Best way to get into character, is be them. I'm loaded on vodka right now. Heh.))
Adasmka writes quietly in his study before he turns in for bed, beginning to understand what his role is, and what he has and will become. But more importantly, what he HAS been.
"What exactly am I? Have I become more the beast than the man? I do know that I started as such, but cannot understand fully yet where this animalistic curse has come into play? I want to know it, I truly do, but the more I learn means the more I fall apart. I don't want to be this way, but it is my nature. Yet my human mind tells me that it is not right. Do I want to be this way? Do I want to lead this life?
I am a soldier.
I am a stray.
I am falling apart, but I will not show this.
Everything that I know must remain true to myself, and must seem true to those around me. That is a soldier's promise. They may very well hate me for how I feel and what I say, but it is for their own sake, and I know this. Where to begin...

I don't remember a thing, except how to fight. I don't think that is a bad thing at all, either. I hurt, like any normal person may, but whether I show it or not is my discretion. There are so many times I wish I could, but I know it would not be for the better of my beloved city...
For her people that I love.

*The passage seems to stop for a few lines*

I am a strong person. But everyone I speak to is strong in their own way, and I must accept that. We all have our pasts, and we all have things we regret. THe gods know I do, and they also know of the others' sins.

*Adamska takes a small swig of his brandy, pondering his words as he looks through them*

Every day that I meet someone, I take it to heart. I find myself in them, but also themselves in me. It is a common bond that no one really understands until they have it happen. Whether a beggar and thief on the streets of my beautiful city, or the greatest mage ever lived trying to destroy it...


What would Remmington say if he saw these writings? Not doubt in oneself... Nor their fellow inhabitants. But in the gods...

How could I say this? Let this happen? I wish things would open into answers that I could visibly understand, but what is given to us as a challenge, is merely a test. And whether we succeed, is solely up to us. In every day life, as well as combat.

This drink numbs me. It numbs me until I cannot think of the atrocities I've done. When this drink is gone, I hate myself. I hate the world. I hate all who walk it. But when I have it, I understand. I don't have a problem...

Remmington can shove it up his paladin rear that I do. But I'll still do my job.

I met a woman named Corrinn today, from Elmensfaar. I protected that city from the undead, and she didn't even know that. But... Welcome to the life of a soldier. We are quiet. We are tame. We wll fight tooth and nail, and not question.

It's for our people.
Our city.
The one's we love, and the one's that hate us.
We are always there.



It's good to be back.
And I don't mind it... At all.
-Second Lieutenant Adamska de Racte

_________________
And we shall stand on a hill of skulls, raise our glasses and toast to those we stand upon, our voices ringing out, "To the Pain!"


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